Helping children do well in school

Be involved in you children's education every day. Your participation helps your child do well in school and child care. In addition, your involvement improves the quality of your child's school or child care program. Find the time to be involved every day ­ it makes a difference.

• Take you child to school or child care or pick your child up each day. This personal involvement is important for all parents. Providing this daily transportation is especially important if that parent does not see the child at home on a daily basis. Meaningful daily contact improves your relationship with your child and with your child's teachers, friends, and friends' parents.
• Be sure your child knows that school is important to you. Ask questions or observe what is going on at school. Then plan similar activities that you and your child can do together. For example, if your child is learning about animals, take a trip to the zoo, rent a movie, or go on line to find out more about animals together.
• Set up a place in your home where your children can read, write, and use the computer. Provide space to store school books, supplies, special materials, and a hook for that back pack. It is good for children to have both private and family spaces for study. Some parents and children work together at the kitchen or dining room table or on the coffee table in the living room. This may be part of the evening meal or a snack routine. Sometimes children need a more private space in which to work, perhaps in their room or your home office.
• Read everything that is sent home ­ newsletters, the school lunch and snack menus, field trip plans, requests for parent involvement and assistance. If you are co-parenting, share the information. If you are parallel parenting because you and the other parent can not get along peacefully, ask the school or child care program to provide copies for each parent.
• Get to know your child's teachers, coaches, center directors, and principal. Attend school meetings, open house, and parent-teacher conferences. Most are happy for you to call them during certain hours at school or at home. You might exchange notes or keep a notebook on your child. Each day the teacher and child care provider write news of the child's behavior and learning activities are progressing. Your notes can include questions for the staff and information about family plans and things you are sharing with your child.
• Every day, read with your child. You might share the newspaper, read aloud, have a night time story routine, or exchange books and articles you have enjoyed. Be sure your child sees you reading and writing in very practical ways like a grocery shopping list or email as well as reading and writing for enjoyment. Ask your child about the books read at school or child care. For infants and toddlers it is a great idea to have at home some of the same books the baby "reads" in child care. Ask your child's teacher for a list of books and magazines appropriate for your child's age, ability, interests, and family background.

A mix of after school activities benefits more than the kids

Provide a mix of academic, cultural, and recreational activities for young people and their parents, teachers, and communities benefit. After school programs are offered during non-school hours, including before and after school, on weekends, and over the summer months.

A study recently released by the Wallace-Reader's Digest Funds involved four national models of after-school programs in 17 communities across the country and found that working parents and teachers see after-school programs as an essential support for children. The report, which studied school-based after-school programs, concludes that children in these programs benefit both academically and socially in programs that offer a diverse set of activities.

Parents are advised to select after school programs that offer children choices among several activities in three categories: sports, academics, and enrichment. Children forced to spend their out of school hours in only one or two of these types of activities will not benefit as much in any of the three areas: athletics, grades, or culture.

The variety of activities helped children obtain new skills and become more confident learners. As a result

the children enjoyed school more and had improved school attendance ­ a significant result when funding is based on average daily attendance.

The popularity of the programs helps children stay out of trouble and learn to settle arguments without fighting. Three-quarters of parents said the programs helped their child get along better with family members. Also, after-school participants were less likely to start drinking.

About half of the parents said their child's participation in after-school activities helped them to manage their jobs better with less worry about the child's safety.

Sources:

Children's Defense Fund. (2002, August 5). Child Care Advocacy Newsletter. www.childrensdefense.org

Multiple Choices after School: Findings from the Extended Service School Initiative www.ppv.org

Storenson, P.L. (2002). After the bell rings. Budget Watch, Michican's Children. www.michiganchildren. org/pdf/afterbell.pdf

Safe Bedding Practices For Infants

Placing babies to sleep on their backs instead of their stomachs has been associated with a dramatic decrease in deaths from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Babies have been found dead on their stomachs with their faces, noses, and mouths covered by soft bedding, such as pillows, quilts, comforters and sheepskins. However, some babies have been found dead with their heads covered by soft bedding even while sleeping on their backs.

To prevent infant deaths due to soft bedding, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development have revised their recommendations on safe bedding practices when putting infants under 12 months down to sleep.

• Place baby on his/her back on a firm tight-fitting mattress in a crib that meets current safety standards.
• Remove pillows, quilts, comforters, sheepskins, pillow-like stuffed toys, and other soft products from the crib.
• Consider using a sleeper or other sleep clothing as an alternative to blankets, with no other covering.
• If using a blanket, put baby with feet at the foot of the crib. Tuck a thin blanket around the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.
• Make sure your baby's head remains uncovered during sleep.
• Do not place baby on a waterbed, sofa, soft mattress, pillow, or other soft surface to sleep.

For more information:

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission www.cpsc.gov or 800-638-2772

American Academy of Pediatrics www.aap.org

National Institute of Child Health and Human Development "Back to Sleep" Campaign 800-505-CRIB

What Children Really Want for the Holidays

Many children have a long list of gifts they'd like to receive during the holidays. Parents may be frustrated and feel the spirit of the season is lost in all of the commercialism and hectic pace. Putting these four ideas at the top of the list can make the holidays more meaningful and memorable for everyone:

1. Relaxed and loving time with the family. During the holiday season, lives become crowded with program practices, shopping trips, and parties. Even when parents are at home, they are often busy with holiday chores, plans, and money worries. Lots of gifts and attention when the holiday arrives won't make up for your absence or stress now. Set firm priorities so you can give your children the attention they need. Consider turning down some social invitations to spend more time with your family. Decide to order gifts by mail or the Internet to save time shopping.

2. Realistic expectations about gifts. Children who think only about gifts at this time of year can feel terribly let down when the holidays are over. Their new toys can't possibly be all they thought they would be after they've waited for them for weeks or months. Make other parts of the holiday as exciting as opening presents. Help define the celebration for children. Talk with them about gifts and your own sense of values. Then plan family activities in which gifts play only one part. Shift the focus from receiving to giving by making special treats or crafts for neighbors and friends, a homeless shelter, senior center or other community program. Plan exciting family activities to look forward to before and after opening gifts so that gifts aren't the only highlight. Help children learn the difference between commercials and regular television programs and that the purpose of advertising is to sell products.

3. An evenly paced holiday season. Because stores start cranking up for the holiday season so early, children wait and wait for the holidays to arrive. Then, when the last gift is unwrapped, suddenly it's all over. Postpone some activities and schedule important family traditions for about a week or so before the holiday. Also, save a few special activities for the week after the main event. For example, consider hosting a potluck dinner for family and friends.

4. Strong family traditions. Traditions are important to children because they give them comfort and security. They help children understand how the season will unfold, and will bring back happy memories of past holidays together. Even simple traditions will do, like baking cookies or singing. Ask children which activities mean the most to them. Then, be sure to do them every year.

Give your children these four gifts and you'll give yourself a lovely present as well. You'll spend more time doing the things that really matter and feel less frenzied.

Goodbye Cries at Child Care

You are in a hurry to get to work on time. You need to leave your baby at child care, but your child starts crying. You feel terrible. This is separation anxiety.

Now, separation anxiety is not fear of being fired at work; it is when your baby doesn't want you to leave. In both cases, your fear of job loss and your baby wanting to be with you, the problem is sensing a loss of security. And, both are normal.

Babies usually develop separation anxiety at about six months and it lasts through the first birthday. It is normal, but it can be very frustrating for both you and your baby.

Here are 10 things you can do:

1. Talk to the child care staff. Ask for help and suggestions.

2. Try not to be in such a hurry. Rushing is hard on children and parents.

3. Some relaxed time together can reduce the stress, tears, and your guilt feelings.

4. It is a good idea to hang out for a while ­ morning, on your break, at lunch time, or afternoon. Get to know the teachers, the other children and their parents. Check out the toys and the planned activities.

5. But, when it is time to go, leave quickly.

6. Do not sneak out. Say goodbye to your baby and say you will be back.

7. Some parents leave a scarf, glove, book, or something else belonging to the parent.

8. Be sure the staff on duty know you are leaving.

9. Give your baby or your baby's hand to a teacher to hold while you leave.

10. Say the teacher's name and your child's name, "Miss Kathy will take care of my precious baby Jose while I am away."

Call your child care provider to see how your baby is doing. Some children like to listen to the parent's voice over the phone. Make sure your child care provider knows how to reach you in case your child continues to be distressed.

Eventually, your child will say goodbye happily and become involved in the activities at child care. Though this is normal development, you may feel a little bit sad that your child is becoming independent of you. That's normal too!

Prepared by Dr. Elaine Wilson, Parenting Specialist and Debbie Richardson, Assistant Child Development Specialist. Please contact us if you need larger print or other accommodations. Dr. Elaine Wilson, 405-744-7186, emwilso@okstate.edu; Debbie Richardson, 405-744-6231, dlricha@okstate.edu