Vol. 3 No. 1

 Coping in Times of Crisis

Children’s TV viewing be limited to two hours a day or less and that children under 2 watch no television at all.

 Children who have witnessed violence are vulnerable to serious long-term problems. The event may be something quite common, such as a death, divorce, or a car accident.  Sometimes the event may be far away, such as a war or space disaster.

Fear, depression, withdrawal, or anger, can occur immediately or sometimes weeks or months after the event. Parents and other caring adults need to support children and adolescents who have experienced a catastrophic event to avoid long-term emotional harm.

Children and adults can deal well with stress when they have companionship, talk about feelings, have play and recreation opportunities, are healthy, and rely on their faith.

Children have the same emotions that adults experience. Their responses differ because they are young. Parents and teachers can more appropriately help children deal with trauma by considering the child’s age as they:

 

·       Talk about what has happened and share personal feelings.

·         Help children understand that most people will not hurt them and accidents are rare.

·         Reaffirm their responsibility to keep children safe.

·         Assist in community efforts to support workers and victims and to express grief.

·         Write letters or draw pictures to thank those involved in rescue efforts and to express sympathy.

·         Role play the event and pretend to be rescue workers or helpers.

·         Avoid hatred. Study different cultures and history.

·         Keep to a normal routine.

The National PTA and the American Medical Association advocate children’s TV viewing be limited to two hours a day or less and that children under 2 watch no television at all. Children watch television an average of 3-5 hours per day. National Institute of Mental Health 1-888-ANXIETY www.nimh.nih.gov/anxiety

Adapted from Mader, S. (2002). Talking to children when the unexpected happens.  Ohio State University Extension.

·         Provide interesting activities for the family such as playing a board game or going outside to play.

·         Monitor what children watch on television.

·         Set limits on the amount of time spent watching television.

·         Explain that the events shown over and over again happened only once.

·         Avoid violent programming and news coverage about an event.

·         Help children learn how to manage feelings of anger, fear, and helplessness.

·         Role model safe ways to manage your own anger.

·         Help children know it is OK to cry.

·         Get rid of toys that celebrate violence. Replace them with positive self-esteem building toys.

·         Avoid anger as an excuse to hurt others or be violent.

·         Avoiding discipline methods that are harsh or physically damaging.

Special Family Safety Activities

During October, fire prevention month, families, schools, and child care programs across the nation practice exit drills and the stop, drop, and roll routine. In March, Oklahomans are reminded of what to do in case of a tornado watch, warning, or alert. Now we have a new set of safety practices to learn: getting the family ready for a change in our Homeland Security Status.

Families can teach children wise safety measures without adding to their fear. In fact, children will feel more secure, knowing their family has a plan. Practicing what to do in an emergency can actually be fun for children and families.

1.  In a public building or in public transportation, look for exit signs. Children who can not yet read can recognize the red and white signs with the large capital letters EXIT. Play a game of counting the signs to develop number and literacy skills.

2.  Select a place where your family can meet in your yard or neighborhood in case the home is not safe or available to you. Select an in-town and an out-of-town family friend or relative to call so you can check in with each other. In an emergency phone lines to your home or within your city may not be working. In that case you will need to contact someone outside of the power outage area. Children will enjoy learning these phone numbers and you can keep in touch with friends, neighbors, and relatives.

3.  Talk with your child’s teachers and child care providers about emergency plans and policies. The school or child care program may have a safe place to take the children. Your child needs to know you will meet in that safe place.

4.  Cellular phones, water purification devices, flash lights, candles, matches, bandages, goggles and breathing masks all have dual uses in daily life, camping, and cleaning. Show the children how to safely use them. Use these items in normal activities.

 Making Happy Family Times Together

¦      Conduct a family meeting and talk about what each family member thinks a happy, healthy family is.

¦      Look at photos together in order to help remember fond family times.

¦      Have a weekly family time with games, silly songs, or dancing.

¦      Ask your child what makes him or her feel happy, sad, and mad. Listen carefully.

¦      Decorate happy face cookies together then deliver some to elderly family members and friends.

¦      Go to a park everyone in your family swing, slide or climb. Look for squirrels and birds. Have a picnic. Pick out shapes in clouds in the sky and make up stories.

 (Source: Family Support America)

Bunk Bed Tips

Each year, thousands of children visit emergency rooms for injuries linked to bunk beds. Most of the injuries are minor, caused by horseplay. To give your children and yourself a more secure feeling about bunk beds, consider the following tips, especially when traveling or camping and using bunk beds.

·         Children must be at least 6 years of age to use the upper bunk.

·         If the bottom of the foundation of any bed is more than 30 inches from the floor, use guardrails on both sides.

·         If the bed is beside a wall, the guardrail will prevent entrapment between the bed and the wall.

·         Openings at either end or side of the bed must be less than 3 and 1/2 inches to prevent the passage of the child’s torso that could result in a fall or strangulation.

·         Provide a safe place for tumbling and horseplay on an old mattress on the floor or outside.

Media Violence Impacts Children and Families

The impact of media violence can dramatically influence children at all ages. 

Movies, television, video and the Internet have become the most powerful external sources of information about society and interpersonal relationships for children, said Debbie Richardson, Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service assistant child development specialist.

“Children begin watching television at a very early age, sometimes as early as six months, and are ardent viewers by the time that they are two or three years old,” Richardson said. “The average American child by age 18 sees about 200,000 violent acts on television, including 16,000 murders.”

In addition, 67 percent of households with children own video game systems, and violent themes compose 60 to 90 percent of the most popular video games, she said.

According to the American Psychological Association, there are four long-term effects of viewing violence, Richardson said. These include increased aggressive and anti-social attitudes and behaviors, increased fears of being or becoming a victim, becoming less sensitive to violence and victims of violence, and a greater appetite for more and more violence in entertainment and real life.

“Young children are the most vulnerable to the effects of violent media programming,” she said. “They have neither the thinking or emotional ability to understand the context of violence. They do not grasp the consequences of the behavior and are more likely to imitate violence.”

As more homes and schools obtain computers, increasing numbers of children (at least 45 percent in the United States) are now using the Internet for homework, games and entertainment, she said. The Internet with all of its benefits is a vast, uncensored information highway that can be an unsafe place for children. They may be easily exposed to information that promotes hate, violence and pornography.

A survey conducted in 1999 for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children found that approximately one in five children, ages 10 to 17, had received a sexual solicitation online, Richardson said.

Tips to help become “media literate” and critical viewers.

·         Be a wise consumer.

·         Know what your kids are playing and watching.

·         Monitor and limit access to violent programs and games. Explain why they are harmful.

·         Select programs and games that promote problem solving and cooperation.

·         Watch programs and play video games with the child, and discuss what is seen.

·         Learn about the Internet and monitor children’s computer access and activity.

·         Be aware of media ratings and use blocking devices.

·         Help educate others in the community.

Character Begins at Home – Respect

Remember how you felt when you heard you child using your words or when you heard yourself using your parent’s words? Kids repeat what they hear and you are probably their most important role model. Here are some simple, but difficult things to do to improve what your child learns from you.

·         Speak calmly. Save the yelling for a serious emergency.

·         Say: please, thank you, excuse me, good idea, I appreciate that.

·         Be clear. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Be honest.

·         Accept and respect your child’s feelings.

·         Do not use fear, blame, threats, or harsh words for discipline.

·         Listen carefully to what your children say, even if it is incorrect.

·         Correct your child privately, never publicly.

·         Include your child in the conversation.

·         Do not tell embarrassing stories or brag about your children.

In short – Treat your children the way you want them to treat you.

What to do When Parents Lose Control in Public

You are in the local store or another public place and observe an adult losing control with their child. This can make anyone feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, angry or fearful. There are several suggestions to help in these situations and ensure that children are safe:

·         Talk to the adult to get their attention away from the child.

·         Say something supportive, such as “Children can really wear you out, can’t they?” or “My child has done the same thing.”

·         Look for an opportunity to praise the parent or child.

·         Divert the child’s attention, if misbehaving, by talking to the child.

·         Ask if you can help in any way. Could you carry some packages or play with an older child so a baby could be fed or changed?

·         Be friendly. Avoid negative remarks or looks as they may increase the parent’s anger and could make the situation worse.

·         If you see a child alone, for example in a shopping cart, stay until the parent returns.

·        If the parent or caretaker is hostile, or if you believe the child may be in danger, call store security or law enforcement immediately.





Prepared by Dr. Elaine Wilson, Parenting Specialist and Debbie Richardson, Assistant Child Development Specialist. Please contact us if you need larger print or other accommodations. Dr. Elaine Wilson, 405-744-7186, emwilso@okstate.edu; Debbie Richardson, 405-744-6231, dlricha@okstate.edu