FR 7-22
03/03
Resources
Prepared by: Elaine
Wilson, Ph.D.
Parenting
Specialist
104
HES, Room 238
405-744-7186;
405-744-1461 (fax)
Helping Unwed
Parents Build Strong and Healthy Marriages: A Conceptual Framework for
Interventions, by M. Robin Dion, Barbara Devaney, Sheena McConnell, Melissa
Ford, Heather Hill, and Pamela Winston, Mathematica Policy Research, January
2003. Available at http://www.mathematica-mpr.com/PDFs/redirect.asp?strSite=helpingunwed.pdf
After the Storm: Resolving
Post Separation Conflicts (VHS). Includes a
co-parenting and a parallel parenting example handled in conflict and in better
ways.
Bye Bye Love (VHS). Show clip of transition at McDonalds at
beginning or ending comments about the binuclear father.
The Children’s Voice (VHS). Children are interviewed
about their experiences in binocular families and offer suggestions to help
communities promote family health.
1. Do you
feel you have two homes or one? What
makes you feel that way?
Live in same town.
Don’t move. I have a room and my
things are in both houses so I don’t have to pack.
2. What
would three wishes be for your separated family?
Stop
fighting. No one would be sad. Money.
Forgiveness. No fighting
3. What
would you tell the people who make decisions for families?
It’s great when they can talk and get along after the divorce.
4. What
would you tell your parent?
Call him daddy, not your father. Keep treating me equal. Smile, be happy. Get your act together, you are the adults.
5. Do you
or did you have a voice in the decision about your life?
I trusted my parents. I do not want to tell them how I feel
because one will be mad at me. Don’t
give them a voice and make them feel guilty.
6. What
does society need to know about children of divorce?
It’s not a visit. It’s
two homes. Make it about the kids not
angry parents. Friends need to
understand when we cannot hang out because we are at our father’s house.
7. Was it
easy to have friends?
I lost their phone numbers. I want to have a friend over but I
am going to dads. Dad will not let me go
to a party because it’s my time to be with him.
8. How did
the separation affect extracurricular and after school activities?
Dad lived far from my school.
9. What is
the hardest thing about your family living separately?
Dad too
far away. Did not know who to tell my
friends. Money.
10. What is
the best thing about your parents living separate?
Presents!
Get away. Get Happy. Stop Fighting.
11. Did you
ever feel the separation was your fault?
No.
Hope Floats
(VHS and DVD).
Father drives off to spend time with his romantic relationship leaving his
daughter crying and chasing the car.
Kramer vs. Kramer (VHS and
DVD).
Father explains that mommy left because of daddy not the child’s misbehavior
and in fact stayed longer because of her love for the child.
Mrs. Doubtfire (VHS and
DVD). At the end of video the family has solved
co-parenting child care problem and Mrs. Doubtfire describes family bonds.
Nobody’s Fool (VHS). Show clip of grandfather
deciding to break the cycle of father abandonment by sharing his idea and his
stopwatch with the grandson he forgot.
Stepmom (VHS and DVD). At a family meeting, mom helps the children
accept their father’s marriage plans.
King Alfred and the Cakes: Annie wrecks her bike and sees the
significance of even small promises.
Icarus and Daedalus: consequences of irresponsibility. The Chest of Broken Glass: The shame of
letting down a loved one.
FR 7-26
The Children are Watching
(VHS). Shows how communities provide services to
parents who are involved in unhealthy and at risk behaviors. The parents and their teens receive
professional assistance to change their behaviors and deal with drugs,
incarceration, abandonment, driving too fast, physical abuse, violence to stop
the anger and other unhealthy behaviors that endanger the community.
FR 7-19
Adventures From the Book of
Virtues: Responsibility II techniques (VHS). Annie
volunteers to take care of her aunt and uncle’s garden while they are away on
vacation. Based on The Book of Virtues
by William Bennett. Really, 2 stories
that could be shown separately: Annie’s Garden Watering and The Student and
Magic.
Adventures From the Book of
Virtues: Responsibility (VHS). King Alfred and the Cakes: Annie wrecks her
bike instead of delivering cakes and sees the significance of even small
promises. Icarus and Daedalus:
consequences of irresponsibility. The
Chest of Broken Glass: The shame of letting down a loved one.