By Trisha Gedon

{STILLWATER}---Once again Mother Nature has struck Oklahoma, leaving a large path of destruction along her way. Many families have been left homeless and are left dealing with many emotions.

A violent disaster such as a tornado can shake our sense of safety and well-being, said Debbie Richardson, Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service Assistant Child Development Specialist.

“Children are especially vulnerable under these situations because they don’t have the life experience, coping skills or understanding that adults do,” Richardson said. “It’s important that during an emergency situation, family members should talk about what they saw, heard and felt. Children must be reassured that they’ll be taken care of. Parents may think it’s best to shield their children from emotional pain by not talking about the situation, but this often makes the recovery even more difficult.”

Children have vivid imaginations, and often what they “think” is far worse than reality. Parents are encouraged to be honest and open, and give children facts in words they can understand. When children do not have facts they will fill in information with their imagination. Parents need to provide their children with a sense of security.

Stay together as a family and maintain normal routines as much as possible. Try to include children in recovery activities as long as the environment is safe. Chores and responsibility appropriate to their age and abilities will help them feel less helpless.

“The message parents need to convey is that life continues, a sense of ‘normal’ will return, and that the children are contributing their efforts for the good of the whole family,” she said. “Make sure you give yourselves and your family members time to grieve and heal. Set small tasks with realistic goals. Keep in mind that performance at home, work, or school may be temporarily affected.”

Although the adults may want to hear news reports about the crisis situation, it is best to limit children’s exposure to additional trauma. Watching news reports over and over again can cause children to re-live the traumatic experience.

There are times such as a natural disaster, trauma, or life-changing event that additional help is needed in order to cope. Talking to a counselor, a clergyman, or other spiritual leader may be beneficial.

“Most of all make sure your children know that you and others love them and care about them,” Richardson said. “A crisis situation can help people connect with family, friends and neighbors.”

Prepared by:

            Deborah L. Richardson

            Assistant Specialist Child Development

            Oklahoma State University

            104 HES

            Stillwater, OK 74078

            405-744-6231

            dlricha@okstate.edu