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H&S 3-3
06/04
UPDATE
STRATEGIES FOR EFFECTIVE
DISCIPLINE
Prepared by:
Dr. Youmasu Siewe
Health and
Family Development Specialist
333 HES NSCI
(room 321)
Cooperative
Extension Service
Stillwater,
Oklahoma 74078
(405)
744-6824
SOURCE:
Corbin, W., et al,. (2004). Pediatrics & Child Health,
9(1) 37-41
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IMPLICATIONS FOR
COOPERATIVE EXTENSION. Relevant to
Cooperative Extension Service the role of the extension educator
working with families and schools makes him/her one of the first
levels of professionals to contact about issues of disciplines
that affect children and youths. This article provides effective
strategies to help the extension educator with the issue that
frequently occurs in homes and schools. |
 When little Katrina refuses to do as
she has been told, and Kevin repeatedly does what he has been told
not to do, the word disciple quickly comes to the mind of the
parent or teacher; what is discipline? Discipline is empowering
the child to learn simple rules that facilitate learning and
minimize disruption in the home, school or community. It does not
automatically mean punishment. It may also mean first disciplining
ourselves as parents and teachers, before we expect disciplined
behaviors from our children. Example: a teacher who yells at a
child is likely to become frustrated when the child yells at other
children. Children learn by examples. If they see nothing but good
and respectful behavior shown to them and others, that is what
they learn. Below are tips to discipline children:
 (1)
Know what constitutes ‘normal behavior’ in children. Example:
opening kitchen cupboards and dragging pots and pans then banging
them on the kitchen floor in a two-year-old child is normal. It
means that the child is exploring his/her environment and learning
about sounds. This behavior does not require punishment or
yelling. Reading about developmental expectations, and talking to
other parents with children of similar age is one way of finding
out what is normal at what age. By talking to other parents, it
becomes relieving to know that other children are behaving in
similar ways.
(2) Teach by examples: Children mostly
learn by imitating parents and others in their environment; hence
parents need to behave in ways that set good examples. Children
who are always shown respect will show respect to others. Teaching
children about their uniqueness is just as important as teaching
them about being part of a group. Teaching about sharing,
listening and taking turns are good ways to teach group behaviors.
(3) Know what to say and how to say
it: Use the same tone of voice with children, as you want others
to use with you. Yelling, ridiculing, shaming and constantly
pointing out ‘bad behavior’ do not make them stop the behavior,
rather it is likely to make them continue the bad behavior. They
quickly learn about getting attention by doing things parents do
not like, but talk about. Another way to encourage good
behavior is always praise good
behavior. If you have to criticize an undesired behavior,
criticize the behavior rather than the child as a person. You may
say, “I don’t like what you are doing,” or, “We won’t allow that
behavior.” Avoid statements like “You are naughty or a bad child.”
(4) Set limits: This lets children know
what behavior is allowed and what is not. Parents need to be
consistent in telling children what is acceptable and what is not.
Allow the child to say, “No,” and then find out the reason. Saying
“NO” to things that affect only the child - such as which clothes
he/she wants to wear should be encouraged. Children need to learn
that saying, "No," is sometimes good. Example: Saying, "No" to
strangers, may be the safest thing to do. Always praise and hug
children when they cooperate or exhibit desired behaviors; this
encourages them to repeat the desired behavior in other settings.
(5) Know their expectations: Do not
expect more from children than they are capable of doing. Although a
five year old can be expected to sit still during a family meeting,
you cannot expect a two year old to do the same. Be tolerant and
keep the child's age in mind. Develop patience -- It is an important
tool to discipline effectively.
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