STILLWATER---Anyone who has shopped at a grocery store or mall with children, especially young children, knows that the experience can be trying and sometimes quite stressful. There are several tips to help make shopping with children a little easier:

Before you go…

Try not to shop when you have had a bad day or at the end of a tiring day when your patience is already strained. Also make sure the children are rested and not hungry.
Talk with your children before shopping. Let them know it is a special outing to go shopping with you. They can go along and have fun as long as everyone understands the shopping rules. You can even discuss what the child suggests as consequences if she misbehaves.
Make your expectations clear for appropriate behavior such as, “stay close to me”, “use your quiet voice”, or “running in the store is not acceptable”.
Develop some “sign language” at home with the child – signals that mean “stop”, “come here”, “be careful”. Use them in public.
Everyone should wear comfortable shoes and clothes. Take clothes or coats that can be layered and removed so that everyone is comfortable with temperature changes.
Pack snacks, a favorite toy or comfort item, diapers, or formula as needed, especially for infants and younger children.

At the store…

Give children some choices. When possible, allow them to make some decisions. For example, ask, “Do you want red apples or green apples?”
Give your child a responsibility such as picking out the fruit or steering the cart.
Your child is most likely not always interested in where you want to shop. Therefore, you need to help him make it through the places where he has no interest and show interest where he wants to look.
Never leave a child unattended in a shopping cart.
Play games such as asking a child to count how many people are wearing red, how many babies they see, or how many steps it takes to get to the end of the aisle.
Discuss the pictures on packages – have the child explain what she sees, name the colors in the picture, or read the words.
Reinforce good behavior. Statements such as “You are being so helpful!” say a lot to a child. Do something special after the shopping trip or promise to play a game or read with them when you get home (and keep your promise). Also, a hug can be reassuring and say more than words sometimes.

If your child gets out of control or embarrasses you, stop, calmly pick him up or take him by the hand. Go out of the store or to the restroom or other private place. Talk with the child quietly, looking him in the eye at his level, and tell him that his behavior is totally inappropriate. Wait for him to calm down no matter how long it takes. Then ask him if he is ready to try again. If he doesn’t calm down, take him home. Explain the reason why you had to come home. If the shopping can’t wait, if possible find a sitter and leave him there while you return.

Prepared by:

Deborah L. Richardson

Assistant Specialist Child Development

104 HES, Room 233

OCES, Oklahoma State University

Stillwater, OK 74078-6111

405-744-6231

dlricha@okstate.edu

*Item can be filed in FR 2-6