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Program Title: CO-PARENTING The Challenge: In order to help divorcing parents consider the family’s future from the child’s point of view, judges in some Oklahoma counties require parents of minor children to enroll in a Co-Parenting class before the final decree is granted. The stress of the divorce and the parents’ emotional state create a hostile developmental environment. Most parents enter the class focused on their own needs, fears, and unhappiness, and some resent the judge’s mandate to attend a parenting class.Extension's Response: Extension educators ask divorcing parents to set aside their own problems during the 2-4 hour co-parenting class to think about their children’s needs. The participants receive research-based information about how children at various ages respond to stress and change, how to tell the children about the divorce, and age-appropriate custody and visitation arrangements. We also provide communication skills and behavioral strategies to reduce the stress caused when parents put their children in the middle of adult conflicts. The statewide schedule of classes is posted on the OSU parenting web site so parents can enroll in classes to suit their needs. Follow-up programs are available for parents voluntarily seeking more information for themselves or their children. Outcome: Six (18%) of 34 county programs reported participant feedback during FY03: Blaine 5, Custer 125, Johnston 4, Lincoln 1, Okfuskee 8, Oklahoma 29, Sequoyah 20 for a total of 192 parents. Most parents do not want to attend the class, but before they leave, many are asking for more. Most parents indicate that they will try to communicate with their ex spouse and not say unkind things about their ex for the child’s sake. They find the material informative and useful in helping them help their children deal with the stress and adjustment of divorce. A 1997 study determined that those who had attended a divorce education class had relitigated (over all issues) less than half as often than those who had not attended the class (1.61 vs. 3.74). Moreover, rate of relitigation was related to mastery of skills learned in the class--the more mastery of skills, the lower the relitigation rate. At the end of the classes, we ask parents what changes they will make as a result of what they learned in the class. Here are some common responses: · “I will stop using my child as a go-between.”
·
“I now see my husband as his
father. I will try to keep him more involved in · “I plan to think of my child’s personality and age, then relate what he has
been going through to what we learned
tonight.”
Collaborating organizations, agencies, and teaching, research, extension partnerships: Early settlement mediation services, public libraries, licensed counselors, counseling, health and social service agencies, childcare resource and referral agencies, health care providers, parent support groups. Date Posted: January 31, 2005
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